Watching a Game in Iowa City:
My running dairy of watching a game in an Iowa City establishment with a pack of mix matched fans.
3:10: I walk into the bar to catch the afternoon batch of games. There are a smattering of inhabitants scattered amongst the tables and half the bar is full. I slide into a booth and am followed to my seat by an Adrian Peterson jersey wearing waitress....a safe choice since the Vikings played at noon.
3:14: Talk of Tennessee and Vince Young's legitimacy is drifting away from the bar. A couple of disgruntled Bears fans are leaving the conversation and give parting words defending how good the NFC North is compared to the Titan's division. A leather coated man in his mid-50s spouts at them, "if everyone in that division had to play the Colts twice a year you would agree with me." The Bears fan dismisses this comment with a wave and walks out of the bar.
3:19: "All this is hindsight," the same man at the bar has finally restarted the earlier conversation that was interrupted. They sum up the Titans and especially their defense as "spotty" which makes my confidence for my fantasy defense this week slip, everyone looks down into their drinks.
3:22: A table of four men suffer in silence, all watching the muted pregame show noiselessly. The only sound is of them drinking at a feverish pace attempting to pass the time till the game as the FOX crew laughs inaudibly.
3:26: The banter at the bars turns into a chorus of flirtatious teasing directed toward the bartender, 1 of 3 girls in the entire place. Wait hold that 1 more with her entire family just walked in haranguing her son about something he just did to her suede shoes. The bartender is wearing a #4 Brett Favre Green Bay jersey, apparently trying to show her lasting support and cause every single person to comment. Lots of smiling and awkward laughing as she tries to walk the line between being interested enough to get tipped and not come off as interested in anything but conversation.
3:35: Quiet table of 4 suddenly turns on it's head as the game starts and is now the rowdiest area in the establishment.
3:40: So far have attempted to ignore the couple behind me, but can't any longer. Obviously a first date, which begs the question why would you bring someone to a place this seedy. Isn't the whole idea to show your potential or merit, a place that is running a deal on Jaeger bombs on a Sunday doesn't exactly exude. Not going well though, they are cycling through obvious questions (school, work, etc.) at breakneck speed and this exchange just happened,:
Her "So where do you work"
Him "Summit"
Her "That sucks"
3:45: Packer and Bear fan find common ground ripping USC and calling them cheaters. Always can count on Iowa pride to come out at some point during the night.
3:47: Vincent Jackson bobbles then brings in a 30+ yard reception, causing most of the bar, unfortunately including myself, to inhale and let out a ooooh ahhhhh. And this ditty from somewhere behind me, "The mother fucker can catch."
3:51: Obese family arrives, which I would not usually comment on except for the fact that they are plastered in Under Armor gear. The rest of the bar consists of Packer,Bears, and Vikings fans lingering after their teams are done, talking absentmindedly about everything not on TV, enthusiastic Cowboys fans, still transfixed on team's game, and a mixed bag of other teams.
3:56: Group of Packers fans playfully harass the Adrian Peterson waitress, resulting in her fake laughing and turning around with a grimace on her face.
3:58: Alex Smith vs. Aaron Rogers/ Matt Leinert vs. Vince Young conversation starting at the bar. Sounds like a boring ESPN podcast with mostly irrelevant stats that nobody knows for sure or cares about and are probably being made up by a guy with an obnoxious bright orange Bears hat.
4:01: Conversation for the date behind me has turned to the guys insomnia........
4:02: The anxious drinking during the awkward silences has spread to me. I just cught myself slurping down beer like I'm racing someone.
4:09: Tashard Choice just freaked out on his offensive line....possibly the first time I have seen that from a 3rd down back who will get 2 rushes this game. Camera cuts to Jerry Jones who looks comatose.
4:15: Somehow the bar conversation just went from how awful Jason Campbell is to James Cameron being awesome....I know they have similar names but I don't know how that just happened. "I mean everything he is involved with is successful. He is just good at what he does." This is hard for me to accept, but decide to stay unnoticed and project my frustration into faster drinking.
4:17: Bar conversation changes to Pittsburgh's playoff chances, "statistically they are one of the best teams out there," this goes unchallenged, "Big Ben has something.....that....it just gets done."
4:20: Wade Phillips enthusiasm is draining
4:21: Dallas interception, guy on date behind me reacts by running over to Dallas cheering section and slapping hands. Gets back giggling, "There we go. I wish you were a Cowboys fan."
4:26: Tony Romo still holds kicks? Seriously, how is that a good idea. Just saying doesn't he have better shit to do during practice, and that works as an excuse so you don't have to tell him he lost his holder job when he dropped a 20-yard field goal attempt to win a playoff game. I mean every punter gets demoted after doing something like that.
4:30: At the point were I pee after every beer, which is making my entire experience less enjoyable. Halftime of Cowboys game, they are down 7 but feels like more.
4:33: Guy in Raiders wind suit is gushing about how he would fix the Redskinds franchise as he drinks Busch Light from a bottle.
4:41: Guy just told me that "Keystone Light and Coors Light are brewed by same company, just Keystone sits for a day longer," this seems puzzling to me.
4:47: "Can't hold onto the ball that long son" and "Taking way to much time" are a sample of the insults following Gradkowski around the television screen for the last 5 minutes
4:51: Obnoxious level for Cowboy fans has subsided. Only short loud bursts of profanity and occasional table slaps seem to be coming from them now
4:54: Watching highlights of Chad Henne spike the ball after a touchdown run are completely satisfying
4:58: Lull in coversation at the bar makes an awkward silence where everyone simultaneously checks their phone
5:04 Second Oakland fan appears out of nowhere and finds the first guy. They sit and share in the misery talking about draft fuck ups and stock options
5:06: Three different carry out orders just left.....who orders out from a bar like this. Am I just missing out on a huge section of the population
5:10: Jamarcus Russell enters the game sporting a 46% completion percentage, not quite as much bitching as I expected but maybe that is what happens when your soul has been ripped out
5:18: Alvin and the Chipmunks trailer just appeared....am not trying to bet the guy next to me that Tom Arnold is trying to make a comeback in this
5:26: Entire family decked out in Colts gear enters, immediately Raiders fans starts berating them, "Colts loss. Didn't you see? They changed some calls so they lost." No one laughs but him as he sips on his warm Busch Light
5:34: First real heated argument in awhile. Raiders fan and someone else are talking about the tuck rule in the AFC championship all those years ago. Neither clearly wins and they both look away and talk to other people at the bar for awhile. This doesn't work well for the other guy because he turns to talk to me, as I am scribbling down his conversation while trying to not appear to do so
5:36 Cowboy player is carted off. Only comments are about how long it is taking and how refs still miss calls even after challenges
5:50: Oakland chances start slipping away, along with fans ability to articulate or remain unbitter
6:05: Talk turns to Iowa including this little exclamation, "Oranges, Oranges, Oranges, Where going to smell like oranges no matter how we play."
6:19: As the game ends the pace of conversation remains unchanged. Even as the highs and lows of the game unfold the mood remains rather numb today. Also, when is everyone going to stop thinking Tony Romo is good.